Reasons To Be Miserable lyrics by Marvin, The Paranoid Android

Reasons to be miserable give my brain a pain
Very little turns me on; Marvin is my name

I'm a robot, it's my lot, a robot full of cares
I'd feel a little better if they broke me up for spares

Everything I say or do I find the world condemning
If I had my time again I'd rather be a lemming

I'm just a menial robot
Ah well

They drive me crazy with their 'Marvin close the door'
Well isn't it enough to make you 'Tidy up the floor'?

You know, it spoils a robot's day
'Marvin, when you're finished you can put yourself away'

I'm going to flip my lid
They treat me like a kid

Robot naughty, robot bad
Robot happy, robot sad

Who's a clever robot lad?
It would drive a human mad

Robots are inhuman, robots are inhuman
Human robots are in, human robots are in
I get no satisfaction
I'm bored

Can't bear these humans when they make me do their work
I'd rather be a calculator
Treat me like a jerk

That will be the day
Pat me on the head; I'd rather be a percolator
It would be no trouble just to bubble life away
Don't get a holiday
Or friends to stay

How can a robot think
With his elbows in the sink?

'Marvin, peel a grape'
Is there no escape?

'Marvin, dig a hole'
'Play some rock and roll'
Yeah, dig it

I really hate it when they underload my brain
Washing up the dirty dishes
Diodes give me pain
Walking dogs and feeding fishes
Driving me insane
Just a metal slave is what a robot is and always will remain